Zeppix - Scene 1 - Scene 9

[Kyon]

Scene Information
In this scene, Zeppix is being chased by an helicopter.
Inside this helicopter, there is 'the General'.
He needs a different name btw.

Later when Zeppix thinks he is save, the general is behind him,
with a gun pointed at his head.

Texts
- Zeppix sees the MDoD helicopter behind him, whilst flying.
Zeppix: Damnit!
- Zeppix jumps into a lan, and things he is save.
Zeppix: Finally, I am save!
- The General is behind him, he has obviously jumped from a helicopter with his parachute.
General: You cannot escape from me, Daemon!
- Scene End

[ExWhyZed]

Texts
- Zeppix sees the MDoD helicopter behind him, whilst flying.
Zeppix: Damn it!
- Zeppix jumps and lands, and thinks himself safe.
Zeppix: Finally, I am safe!
- The General is behind him, he has obviously jumped from a helicopter with his parachute.
General: You cannot escape from me, Daemon!
- Scene End

Just fixed up a few things.

[Kyon]

Things like that don't really matter,
since only you can I can see it.
Lol, it was just to show you what happens.

But uhm,
- Who is the General?

[ExWhyZed]

Make a topic about it while I reply on Scene III.

[TP09]

Texts
- Zeppix sees the MDoD helicopter behind him, whilst flying.
Zeppix: Damn it!
- Zeppix jumps and lands, and thinks himself safe.
Zeppix: Finally, I am safe!
- The General is behind him, he has obviously jumped from a helicopter with his parachute.
General: You cannot escape from me, Daemon!
- Scene End

First scene is a chase-scene, which is a good thing.
Chase-scenes never have much dialogue, and saying things like:
"Finally, I am safe" is just idiotic.
Here's my version, green text represents camera movement and/or position,
blue text character movement and/or position
and grey text dialogue.

-Camera in bird-view, slowly flies over a big metropolis / city
-Camera views big building en profil, slowly moves to the left
-Camera shows a smaller building next to the big building
-Zeppix lands on roof of smaller building
-Zeppix hears helicopter sounds from the distant and turns his head
-Helicopter appears from behind a building and stars chasing Zeppix
-Zeppix takes off
-Camera shows Zeppix and helicopter from bird-view for a few seconds
-Camera quickly switches between Zeppix and helicopter for a few seconds
-Camera shows a topdown-view of Zeppix and helicopter while they are manoeuvring between the buildings
-Camera follows Zeppix who turns his head to the helicopter
-Zeppix turns his head back and sees big building in front, camera does river-spin manoeuvre, if that's possible with Flash
Zeppix: "Oh, crap!"
-Zeppix makes quick manoeuvre and so does helicopter, but helicopter hits building and loses rotor blades
-Zeppix lands on near building and camera follows him
-Zeppix rests until he hears a click
-Again, river-spin manoeuvre to show General is standing behind him, pointing a gun towards him
General: "Now I got you."
General: "You cannot escape me, creature!"

I doubt if these complicated camera-moves are possible with Flash,
but it would be so cool if it is.

[ExWhyZed]

Leave camera movements to Kyon, and only put basic character movements. What Kyon needs is Speech. And your English isn't too good. "Now I got you."?
And swearing with no point to it? That makes a good film deteriate...

[TP09]

Leave camera movements to Kyon, and only put basic character movements. What Kyon needs is Speech. And your English isn't too good. "Now I got you."?
And swearing with no point to it? That makes a good film deteriate...

Okay, I'll leave the camera movements, but the camera in scene I as it is now, is just not exciting enough.

And your English isn't too good. "Now I got you."?

My English is excellent.

And swearing with no point to it? That makes a good film deteriorate...

What's so pointless about saying 'Oh crap!'?! He's about to crash into a building, he can say 'crap'.

[ExWhyZed]

But "Damnit" is more acceptable.

[TP09]

But "Damnit" is more acceptable.

First of all, it's spelled 'dammit'. Second of all: true, but 'crap' is better to use in such situation.

[ExWhyZed]

No. It is spelt "Damnit". It is shortened from "Damn it" which is shortened from "Condemn it".

[Kyon]

It is spelled Damn it.
Also, ExWhyZed, TP is part of the team now, DO NOT act like you don't like things he made.

Tp, thanks alot.
But I am sorry, I am not planning to change scenes I already made.
So if you want to help, please move to 'Scene 3' now.
Since I am making that scene soon.

Thanks alot mate!

[TP09]

No. It is spelt "Damnit". It is shortened from "Damn it" which is shortened from "Condemn it".

I'm not gonna discuss the spelling of a curse.
We'll see which one Kyon likes best :)

[Kyon]

See my reply above your post TP...

[TP09]

It is spelled Damn it.
Also, ExWhyZed, TP is part of the team now, DO NOT act like you don't like things he made.

Tp, thanks alot.
But I am sorry, I am not planning to change scenes I already made.
So if you want to help, please move to 'Scene 3' now.
Since I am making that scene soon.

Thanks alot mate!

Thanks.

See Zephyr, THAT's how you should respond!!!

[Kyon]

This scene topic is kind of solved.
Thanks all. (I won't close it though)

[Kyon]

Edited Scene:

Zeppix looks for the last time at his old house, and flies away with tears in his eyes.
While flying, a CADD helicopter flies up, and follows him.
Zeppix: Damnit!
Inside the helicopter, the General is watching Zeppix with a binocular.
General: GET HIM!
A chase starts, Zeppix flees to the ground.
Inside the helicopter, the General is searching for him.
General: Where did he go!?
Pilot: I don't know sir, I think he is on the ground!
General: I'll go after him!
The General jumps out of the helicopter
A foot chase starts, but at the end, Zeppix is in gunpoint, and cannot escape.
General: You cannot escape from me, Daemon!

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